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If you are reading this, then my mission is probably over.

This final entry is one that I asked be posted after my mission team announces they’ve lost contact with me. Today is that day and I must say good-bye, but I do it in triumph and not in grief.

As I’ve said before, there’s no other place I’d rather be than here. My mission lasted five months instead of three, and I’m content knowing that I worked hard and accomplished great things during that time. My work here is done, but I leave behind a legacy of images and data.

In that sense, you haven’t heard the end of me. Scientists will be releasing findings based on my data for months, possibly years, to come and today’s children will read of my discoveries in their textbooks. Engineers will use my experience during landing and surface operations to aid in designing future robotic missions.

But for now, it’s time for me to hunker down and brave what will be a long and cold autumn and winter. Temperatures should reach -199F (-128C) and a polar cap of carbon dioxide ice will envelop me in an icy tomb.

Seasons on Mars last about twice as long as seasons on Earth, so if you’re wondering when the next Martian spring in the northern hemisphere begins, it’s one Earth-year away—October 27, 2009. The next Martian summer solstice, when maximum sunlight would hit my solar arrays, falls on May 13, 2010.

That’s a long time away. And it’s one of the reasons there isn’t much hope that I’ll ever contact home again.

For my mission teams on Earth, I bid a special farewell and thank you. For the thousands of you who joined me on this journey with your correspondence, I will miss you dearly. I hope you’ll look to my kindred robotic explorers as they seek to further humankind’s quest to learn and understand our place in the universe. The rovers, Spirit and Opportunity (@MarsRovers), are still operating in their sun belt locations closer to the Martian equator; Cassini (@CassiniSaturn) is sailing around Saturn and its rings; and the Mars Science Laboratory (@MarsScienceLab)—the biggest rover ever built for launch to another planet—is being carefully pieced together for launch next year.

My mission team has promised to update my Twitter feed as more of my science discoveries are announced. If I’m lucky, perhaps one of the orbiters will snap a photo of me when spring comes around.

So long Earth. I’ll be here to greet the next explorers to arrive, be they robot or human.

It's been a great pleasure to have Mars Phoenix guest blogging for us, reminiscing back on a successful mission via its personality conjurer, the great Veronica McGregor at JPL—maintainer of Phoenix's famous Twitter feed. Just as Doug McCuistion from NASA said on the news conference today, it's certainly more of an Irish wake than a funeral today. We're drinking to you tonight, little buddy. You can see all of Phoenix's previous entries and the official press release announcing the end of Phoenix's mission.

Past entries:
• Phoenix Mars Lander Looks Back on its Re-Birth
• This is What Landing On Mars Feels Like
• Martian Ice Is Why I'm Alive and Why I'm Dying

For less than the average co-pay you can download whatever you need to play hooky for the day.

You get a pack of 30 excuse notes including a number from specialist "physicians," notices that you've been called for jury duty and — should you need to really pull out the big guns — a funeral pamphlet that includes a photo of the "deceased" and a lovely poem.

"Package includes: Cardiologist's Note; Chiropractor's Note; Classic Dr. Note; Dermatologist Note; ENT Doctor Note; E.R. Doctor Note; Gynecologist Note [I recommend you not use this one if you're a guy]; Podiatrist Note; Urologist Note; Oral Surgery Note; Classic Medical Note; Mental Health Note; Prescription Note; Hospital Printout; Bonus Materials."

"All of our products are for entertainment use only," says the website.

"We do not condone intentional false absence from an employer or educational institution."

Me neither.

$14.97.

[via the October 2008 issue of Physicians Practice]

To see what his ship loos like getting blown up by aliens with grotesque foreheads and pointy ears, let's kick this puppy into warp 9 and meet up after the jump.

Pew pew pew!

Read a lot more about the film over at Entertainment Weekly. Hit up TrekMovie for additional shots. [EW and TrekMovie]

Ever wanted to be Superman but couldn't due to the wrong planet you were born on? With the Bulletproof Polo Shirt, you will be able to walk around without fear of being taken down - as long as the hail of bullets rain down on protected areas, as other places are fair game. This polo shirt is touted to resist bullet fire from a 9mm pistol to even an Uzi submachine gun. Designed by Colombian designer Miguel Caballero, you will have to fork out a whopping $12,000 for this - all in all it should be cheaper than financing your own funeral. Will rapper 50 Cents make this a fashion statement?

Add a comment | From: Bulletproof Polo Shirt | Visit Ubergizmo | Good deals

Create some ludicrous steampunk gadgets in Photoshop, then save your winning results in JPG, GIF or PNG format. Save the files with a FirstnameLastname.jpg naming convention as you'd like to be credited, and send your entries to contests@gizmodo.com with "Steampunk Gadgets" in the subject line. Next Tuesday, I'll pick three winners and showcase the rest of the best in our Gallery of Champions. Get steampunkin'!

With the lax in gun laws these days and the general level of violence we see, it doesn't surprise us any more to read news of a gun-mad killing spree at a school, public building or places of worship. While security at airports are pretty airtight these days (although not completely), you never quite know when someone might go loco and pull out his Uzi, emptying an entire clip at random. Should that happen, you'll definitely find the Bulletproof Case from Globe-Trotter which is molded from triaxial carbon/Kevlar composites. They not only protect you from bullets but prevent you from straining your shoulders as well thanks to a lightweight design. This is one expensive piece of luggage, retailing for a massive $3,500. Just remember a funeral is much more expensive to hold...

Add a comment | From: Globe-Trotter Bulletproof Case | Visit Ubergizmo

The Grand Auditorium in Ellsworth Maine is another Theater that will be celebrating this weekend. Unlike the Riviera Theater, that took three years to renovate, the Grand Auditorium is celebrating the retirement of their 70 year old projector. They are also celebrating the debut of two new projectors that will be replacing the old model. The two new projectors, one a film projector the other a digital projector, will be installed and used the day of the celebration. The festivities will also include a funeral procession for the retired model. The old projector will be on display in the main hall of the auditorium as a memorial to the 70 years of service it provided for the theater.

[via The Ellsworth American]

America is a nation that lives in its cars. Sprawling cities and big, open spaces mean that a car is a second home to many Statesiders, which is why it's a surprise to see this in-car microwave for sale in the UK, a place where "The Countryside" exists only in the collective imagination and Four Weddings and a Funeral.

And what is it for? We can imagine this (in the US at least) being used as a kind of replacement for a real, manly fire at a tailgating party, but the product page clearly states that it is for "Meals on the move!" Surely the preparation of hot food and beverages while driving is hazardous. The only use we can possibly see for this device is to prepare dinner upon the permanent car-parks that are the roads of LA, but again, there is nothing of that scale in Blighty.

If you insist on nuking your breakfast on the way to work, the £130 ($240) In-Car Microwave will either plug into the cigarette lighter socket (thus providing a mere 175W of power) or direct to the battery, whence it will throw out a popcorn-poppin' 660W.

And here, for those lacking in gourmet imagination, is a list of recipes from the product page, including cooking times:

Product page [Maplin via Red Ferret]